is your son gay?

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is your son gay?

Postby djfisher22 » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:31 pm

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Re: is your son gay?

Postby djfisher22 » Sun May 27, 2012 2:35 am

> Subject: THE WEALTHY HOOKER
>
>>A Hooker in Las Vegas
>>>
>>>
>>>A guy is walking the strip in Las Vegas and a fantastic-looking Vegas
>>>hooker catches his eye.
>>>
>>>
>>>He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do
>>>you charge?"
>>>
>>>
>>>The Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
>>>
>>>
>>>The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap! No hand-job is
>>>worth that kind of money!"
>>>
>>>
>>>The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's restaurant on the corner?"
>>>
>>>
>>>"Yes."
>>>
>>>
>>>"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
>>>
>>>
>>>"Yes."
>>>
>>>
>>>"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
>>>
>>>
>>>"Yes."
>>>
>>>
>>>"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those.
>>>And I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
>>>
>>>
>>>So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a
>>>try."
>>>
>>>
>>>They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on
>>>the bed realizing that he has just experienced the hand-job of a
>>>lifetime, worth every bit of $500.
>>>
>>>
>>>He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"
>>>
>>>
>>>The hooker replies, "$1,500."
>>>
>>>
>>>"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"
>>>
>>>
>>>The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see
>>>that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I
>>>own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."
>>>
>>>
>>>The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to
>>>put off the new car for another year or so and says, "Sign me up."
>>>
>>>
>>>Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.
>>>
>>>
>>>He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.
>>>
>>>
>>>He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and
>>>unforgettable experience.
>>>
>>>
>>>He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"
>>>
>>>
>>>The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you
>>>something.
>>>
>>>
>>>Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us: All
>>>those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?
>>>
>>>
>>>"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
>>>
>>>
>>>No," the hooker replies, "but I would... if I had a pussy"
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Re: is your son gay?

Postby Wombat » Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:53 am

AHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD NOOOOOOOOO!!!

...erm...

...oh well...as long as it looks like a woman...that way the next day you can tell yourself it was an honest mistake instead of some sick homosexual fantasy you've been hiding... :lol:
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Re: is your son gay?

Postby Jim » Fri Nov 30, 2012 1:43 pm

Blue eyes is a sign? That's a new one.
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Re: is your son gay?

Postby 71 H2 » Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:45 am

djfisher22 wrote:> Subject: THE WEALTHY HOOKER


That is brilliant! :beer
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Re: is your son gay?

Postby Wolfie » Sun Dec 02, 2012 10:17 am

A man sat in the waiting room for a cosmetic surgeon sees the previous man come out of the doctors office with two large lumps on his back..

When his turn comes he couldn't help mentioning this to the doc.

The doc said that he had just completed giving the man an expensive boob job on his back.

A bit amazed the guy says, 'that fella must be really loaded then?'

Doc say 'no, but he will be if his arse hold out'.
.
.
I used to be a Yorkshire Werewolf, but am alreet nar!
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Re: is your son gay?

Postby 71 H2 » Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:48 pm

A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback.

On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep.

Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch.

Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one leg masturbating furiously at the bar.

"For f**k's sake!" the bloke cried, "what the hell's going on here?

I've been here for just one hour, and I've seen one bloke shagging a sheep, and now another one is wanking himself off in the bar!"

"Fair dinkum, mate," the bartender told him, "you can't expect a man with only one leg to be able to catch a sheep....."
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